I’m always being told how I must feel about men. Rumour has it that the common feminist hates men and in fact wants to live in a land where men are our slaves, milked for their sperm ready for artificial insemination because –of course- feminists are well known for their hatred of sex and all things fun. Sadly, although it’s much easier to poke fun at this caricature of a feminist, this isn’t the case. Let’s also remember that a lot of men are feminists too. I’m sure there is a portion of feminists who do hate men and everything they stand for, but this is a separate issue to feminism entirely – they are feminists who are also misandrists. A misandrist is the female equivalent of a misogynist and one can exist without the other. Those sort of man-hating monsters have been created by the world they’ve experienced and it does make you question what must those experiences have been like to be able to write off a whole gender like that. While the reasons behind it are no better than a “a black person once gave me a dirty look so now I’m racist” type of justification, they are the same things that us peaceful equality-seeking non-misandrist feminists can try to correct thus stopping the hatred. Nothing good has ever come from mass hatred and I’d stick up for any man being berated for his gender as I would a woman. If you’ve been victim of an angry feminist, I apologise, that must have been terrible. But please spare a thought to the 20 other women who have been the victims of angry men for every one of you that has experienced the former – I think the playing field is still somewhat uneven. In all seriousness though, nobody should treat anybody disrespectfully because of their gender, race, sexual orientation or otherwise.
I’m rambling now. Can we just not? I love men! I just love womankind and myself more because we need that love more than men do. Men are taught not to worry or beat themselves up over things that are instilled in us as the be all and end all from a young age. Men are allowed to get away with things that women simply can’t. It is far easier for a man to succeed in his career than it is for a woman. Men don’t need to fear walking alone in a dark place in case someone decides to rape them (of course this sadly does happen to men as well but I’m referring to the majority here). So I feel that, while I love men, I need to love women more because we aren’t shown a lot of love by society. In my day to day life I get along with men just fine, contrary to popular belief I don’t analyse their every word in the hope that I can sink my teeth into any tiny morsel of sexism or prejudice. Just because I take issue with the institutionalised sexism that plagues our society does not mean I take issue with you, your brother or your grandad. Having a dick doesn’t put you in the firing line of my feminist wrath, however being a dick does. Speaking logically, if I were to treat you a certain way for being male I would be no better than the misogynists I pit myself against – so why the assumption that the word “feminist” equates to “hates boys – do not approach”? I’d be going against my own beliefs. Misandry is no better than misogyny folks.
There is also this gross assumption that feminists are anti-sex and generally are known as party poopers – dampening the mood of any mildly sexual scenario nearby. Let me be really clear: we love sex. Being asexual isn’t synonymous with being a feminist in the slightest. I think this myth probably comes from the idea that because we don’t like the portrayal of women as sex objects in the media that we don’t like sex full stop…My take on it is that it’s the misrepresentation of our sexuality that is the most offensive – not because some really hot girl is nearly naked on a magazine cover and we’re just “jealous” of her hotness. We’re often portrayed as just being pretty holes for someone to put their dick in, there isn’t a terrible amount of regard to our pleasure or the fact that women even enjoy sex at all – because that doesn’t seem to matter. So really we take more issue with the refusal to acknowledge that we are sexually empowered all on our own and don’t require a man to whip it out for our loins to magically ignite. If anything we love sex so much that we hate how wrong the media gets it, we care about the way our sexuality is presented to the public because it’s so important.
Bottom line: we like men and we like sex. Now that’s settled, let’s put a stop to the childish “well you’re frigid” retort now shall we? Fin.